Thursday, July 25, 2013 - 3:15 pm

I was listening to the song "Deathbed" by Relient K today, and my attention was caught by the line "I can hear those sad memories, still haunting me, so many things I'd do again." I started looking back on choices I've made in my life, and asking myself if I would make the same choices, given the chance to do it all over. My first response was that it's a futile exercise, since I can't go back and undo or redo the past, and I would not be the person I am today without those choices and what I've learned from them. Then I realized that the exercise would no longer be futile if I could use it to learn more from those experiences. There are some things that were clearly good choices that had good results, and others that were clearly bad choices with negative results, although even those I can learn from. Then there are the choices that seemed right, and made sense, but didn't end up the way I expected. I think that I would make the majority of those choices the same way, because if something is right, then it's right whether or not I think the results are particularly pleasant. Psalm 15 describes a man who lives in God's presence, and part of verse 4 is the phrase "who keeps his oath even when it hurts", and the end of the psalm says, "He who does these things will never be shaken." That indicates that even when a choice I make results in me being hurt, it doesn't necessarily mean it was the wrong choice or that it was detrimental to my character, and it certainly doesn't mean that God has left or forgotten me. If it was the right choice, then I am going through that pain in the presence of God, and with His help and comfort there for me, and that's an encouraging thought as I make choices going forward. The other thought I had was of the choices that I clearly regret and would not make again. Looking forward, I do have the choice not to keep making those decisions. Familiarity is not a good reason to sabotage my future with decisions I know I will regret. My hope is that in these ways I can learn from my choices, both good and bad, and that my past would not be wasted, but that I would use it to help shape my future into the wonderful design that God has for me.